here comes the blushing....

It was bloody freezing. I gripped the balcony railing hard.

I had nowhere else to go. All the princesses were grown up and married now.

My job was done.

I felt a hollow, empty presence within myself. I didn’t know what to do with myself.  I looked up into the rain, letting it hit my face. Closing my eyes, I wished Ben were there beside me.

I stood that way for several seconds before I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned. It was Gustav.

“What are you going to do now, Joella?”

I looked down. “I wish I knew.”

He lifted my chin and smiled in the corner of his mouth.

“Listen sister. We have lived full adventurous lives, yes?”

I nodded and hugged him.

‘Well, tomorrow I return to somewhere. I liked it very much there. Perhaps she will take me back as a hostler. And who knows what else could happen?”

I leaned back and looked up at him. He had the wickedest grin on his face. I smacked his chest and said, “You’ve a sweeting there don’t you? Oh I knew it!”

His grin crossed his entire face. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. He brushed a curl behind my ear and said, “Oh, Jo, I do hope you get what you deserve. I really do.’ He kissed my forehead again and was gone.

I turned back to the railing, looking out over the palace grounds. I had run these grounds so many times! What was I to do now?

Again I wished for Benjamin.

I felt a shudder go down my spine. Someone was watching me. I turned and gasped.

It was Ben.

He was bedraggled and damp. Rather damp actually, as though he’d been riding for hours. He was leaning casually against the doorframe, his arms and legs crossed, smiling, and watching me. His hair hung in front of his green eyes, but I could see them perfectly fine. He was a vision in royal blue, the color he looked best in.

I took a deep breath and leaned against the railing, clutching my chest.  He bit his upper lip and started walking towards me. I couldn’t tell if he was crying or just wet. A chill ran over me again.

He seemed almost ethereal, walking towards me in the pouring rain. I’m not sure whether my breath came so fast and hard because he was here, he was walking towards me. Or that I was just going into shock from standing in the rain so long. 

The he touched me.

His fingers brushed my temple, dragging hair from my face. Electricity sparked over me, making my hair stand on end. I leaned into his hand, dying to know he was real, he was here with me.

“Oh, Joella, mi amour.”

I fell forward onto his chest and sobbed.

He held me close, his face in my hair. He smelled of horses and rain and pine needles, just like always. His arms held me tight, wanting to push me as close to him as possible.

I took my arms from between my chest and his and my fists pounded on his chest.

I was frustrated that he hadn’t written. I was mad at myself for not writing him. He grabbed my wrists and put them both in one hand, pinning them between our chests. I leaned into him again. His other hand lifted my chin.

His green eyes twinkled. The smile on his face hurt me to look at, so stunning it was. His hand moved from my chin to the base of my skull and he kissed me.

I kissed him back-hard.

He let go of my hands and I wrapped them around him. He took my head in his hands and pushed me closer. Then he pushed me away.

“Oh, Ben I’m sorry! I never meant to-“

He kissed me again to shut me up. One hand rested on my back. The other was suddenly on my legs, bending my knees. He swept my up and carried me inside.

He set me in the chair nearest the fire and threw another log in. He started to remove his livery.

‘Get out of the dress.

I stared at him incredulously. Really?

He continued stripping and looked back at me when he was down to his breeches.

“Do you WANT to get hypothermia, woman? Get out of the dress.

I supposed I was still stunned by his arrival. Slowly, I undid the ties in front. My hands were cold and stiff and I couldn’t undo the back lacings.

Suddenly, I found his hand over mine, undoing the lacings. His lips were at my neck as he did so, making me tingle. He moved my hair, holding it on top of my head, while he unclasped my jewelry. He then removed every single pin from my hair. My dress fell as my hair did, cascading down my bare back in waves of curls.

I heard Ben inhale behind me and his arms wrapped around em again. I turned and tore a blanket from the bed, wrapping it around his shoulders. We collapsed into the chair. I leaned my head against his chest, smelling him again.