The dance

The music made no sense to me, ecstatic as I was. The colors and shapes and people all blurred together in my head. I couldn’t eat or drink. Finally, the hour struck. I picked up the princess’s train, trying to keep my fingers from trembling. Thr trumpets sounded but were deaf to my ears. I tried to look interested in everything, but I had only eyes for Ben. We entered the main ballroom and I could hear clapping. I began scanning the faces of everyone, looking for him.
There, in the lineup of servants, he bowed to her. He was dressed in a deep blue that heightened his skin and a deep dark black coat that brought out his eyes. He looked stunning. We made eye contact and he bowed a fraction lower, his eyes simmering. I burned on the inside; just wanting to hold him, be safe in his arms, feel his lips on mine.
The princess reached the pedestal and I disconnected her train, bowing as she turned around. The prince came up to her and kissed her hand. I backed away slowly into the crowd of servants. My heart was thudding so hard in my chest I felt like even the king could hear it. I tried in vain to control it by slowing my breathing. I could pay no more attention to the goings on with Their Majesties.
The music started up again. Suddenly, he was there, taking my hand. He guided me around the dance floor, turning and careening, to and fro. We moved together as if we were the only people in the room, never ceasing, never looking away from each other. His eyes bored into mine and I felt as f he could see my very soul, every dark crevice as equal to him as if it shone as brightly as the rest. I wished he could see such, for that is how I wanted him to know me-every inch of me, every ounce of being, all the little things I tried to hide from the rest of the world and I wanted to know him in the same ways.
The music propelled us; sometimes spinning out of control, sometimes so slow it seemed time had stopped.
The music began to slow. Ben spun me around and brought me back, so that my back was to his front and he leaned down to kiss my neck, then my lips as the music stopped altogether. He held me close to him as the prince led the princess up to the pedestal.
“Lords and ladies, gentlemen and women, may I have your attention please. The princess and I would like to announce that we have decided to be married. She has graciously accepted my offer of marriage and I do love her so much that I wish nothing more than to marry her this very night, would she be so inclined.”
The princess launched herself into his arms. The people around us were clapping, hooting, cheering. But I was frozen. My very blood had stopped cold. If there had been anything in my stomach I would have retched. Ben squeezed my hand, but neither of us moved more than that.
My world was crumbling apart just when I had glued, pasted, and taped it back together.
When I started breathing again, everyone was dancing again around us, giving us curious glances as they twirled around us. Finally, I gained enough self control to pull Ben out to the courtyard. Once he started moving, he got ahead of me, storming to the doors. He threw them open so hard that they bounced back into the frames as soon as I had slipped through them.
Ben had gained several yards on me. He was squatting on his heels, his head in his hands.
My shoes clacked on the cobblestones as I walked towards him. A foot from him, he stood and spun, grabbing me and kissing me hard, as if he thought we’d never see each other again.
He broke apart and hugged me close, as if he wanted to absorb me into his body, keep me next to his heart, safe and warm and always there. I hugged him back just as tight, trying to memorize everything about this moment-every smell, every feeling, every fiber, and every sound. I closed my eyes and gave my attention to everything-the pine needle/horse/rain smell that swam around Ben, the soft satin of his coat, the feel of his arms around me, my ribs creaking with the force with which he crushed me to his chest, his breath in my ear, the soft patter of light rain on the stones, the music in the background.